What can I say about 2020? I thought 2019 had taken me to my emotional knees, and I was just getting my grounding and footing back when Covid-19 went into full “bloom”. Between the pandemic, the isolation, the fears and racial unrest, the political divisiveness, the fires, the volatile behavior of many and the ensuing global and personal reactions, it was a year unlike any of us had ever seen or experienced.
2020 seemed to magnify the wounds and unfinished business in our global and personal lives. It was an uncanny juxtaposition between the way we are all connected and uniquely different. I had never been aware of how something so universal could divide us, sometimes unite us and be so personally diverse in its impact. Some like myself, faced an isolation that seemed like solitary confinement, businesses were lost, lives were lost, fear grew into a daily emotion to fend off, the news got so negative that some of us had to silence our phones.
Personally, what began the year dealing with an old gnawing sensation of being alone, lonely, isolated and experiencing deep loss and disappointment from the events of 2019, only became more magnified. And the fear of getting Covid turned into an empathic play of symptoms.
After decades of personal and professional growth, I have cultivated the belief that we create our reality and are not victims. I teach that we must rely on our inner state for joy and happiness rather than on others or the outside world. The courses I teach educators involve the knowledge that not only must we be mindful of our thoughts, words, beliefs and actions, but that those inner resources are our only true source of freedom as we cannot control people or outer conditions to bend to our will or desires. Those very beliefs became my testing ground in 2020. What I became aware of was that this kind of Self Mastery was on a unique playing field in 2020. Under “normal” circumstances, I could hold my intention and attention and I would get feedback from my life through the people, situations and circumstances in my life. It was fun to see how much “magic,” synchronicity and beauty I could create in the world.
But for the past 10 months, that outer feedback was simply not there. It was a feedback between me, myself and I, and it got intense. I missed the interactions with others in person, the intimacy, the touch, the ability to banter with strangers, the synchronicities that happened while traveling and the laughter that erupted spontaneously with others. Even while venturing out with a mask, nothing was the same. People were either glued to their phones while waiting on line or simply unavailable energetically. Everything seemed like an effort or a hassle, even simple tasks like shopping or trying to get a business on the phone. Was this really how I was going to live in the “new normal”?
This Fall, I began to ask: “So where is the silver lining in all of this”? “How do I not get so negatively swayed by the outer conditions I find unpleasing and sometimes intolerable”? As many of you know, one of my favorite subjects I teach is about resiliency. 2020 has given me an arsenal of material to finally write the book I have contemplated writing for years. As we turn the page on this year what can we bring to the table? What can we aspire to, inspire to and expand more positively and know that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel? As I wrote in my blog of 2019, it’s that old cliché of trust and faith, not so much from a “religious” point of view, but from understanding the honorability and mystery of the Universe. As one of my heroes, Alice Hertz-Summers (who was the oldest living holocaust survivor) said: “Every day is a miracle — No matter how bad my circumstances, I have the freedom to choose my attitude in life, even to find joy. Evil is not new. It is up to us how we deal with both good and bad. No one can take this power away from us.” This is more relevant for us living today in 2020 than ever before in our lifetimes.
As you contemplate 2020, releasing what you no longer need and embracing your intentions for 2021 and the aftermath of this Pandemic and global chaos, I invite you to join me in a course, session, reading, book, CD or class. I have on-going weekly Zoom Yoga classes, Graduate Educator credit courses, clairvoyant/spiritual private readings and will be expanding my public classes and workshops and on-line video resources as well as products. Contact us for more information.
No matter how bad or challenging this past year has been, I invite you to join me in embracing a brighter today, tomorrow and future.
To 2021 — may it unfold into a more celebratory blend of inner peace and outer play,